August 12th 2013, I sat outside work on my 10:00 am break. I had been fighting a chest cold for several weeks. What’s the best thing to do when you’re rocking a sweet chest cold? Inhale toxins into your lungs of course!! Any sane and normal person would. Two smokes in a fifteen minute break with pneumonia like symptoms, you bet ya!! Fire up those smokes!! Finish one and light the other with the end of the first one!! WoHoo!!! Now we are smoken!!!
As I stood there hacking up a lung, taking a drag, coughing up what looked like a smaller version of The Incredible Hulk and repeating process, it dawned on me. This is dumb. Why am I doing this? What advantage am I getting on this? So, I looked at my smoke and made the decision to quit right then and there. (Of course I finished that one…. Waste not, want not?)
So now I have the daunting task of quitting the smokes. Anyone that has done this, or tried this, no it’s no simple feat. So I broke it down to the ridiculous. Go home for lunch and don’t smoke. Finish a meal and don’t smoke. Go back to work and don’t smoke. Go to 3:00 break and don’t smoke. Go home and don’t smoke. Umpire a game and don’t smoke. You get the point.
So as of today I’ve been smoke free for just over 5 months. What is my favorite part about officially being a non smoker? You may say it’s waking up and not meeting that Hulk character I referred to earlier. How about being able to breathe normal? Nope, not it. Live a longer, healthier life? Try again. Saving all that $? That’s nice, but I’m married with children. A dollar saved is just another dollar I lose to my wife or kids. Ask me what my favorite part about being a non smoker and I’ll answer with this; Depends on the season.
Its awesome standing outside when it’s -60 degrees outside with a 90 mph wind and you and your cohorts are bundle up together sucking on your cigs. You hear conversations like “It’s so damn cold” and “I wish they would build something for us” or my personal favorite “They should put heaters out here for us” So after that wage they give you and the insurance they give you, they should make your smoking experience better. Nothing like walking outside and losing your breathe due to horrific cold and then stuffing your lungs with smoke.
That’s not even the worse season! I hated smoking in the summer. Let’s go stand next to this gigantic garbage can and smoke. Why? Well that’s the “Smokers Area” of course. Lots of pop cans get thrown in those things. Bees are attracted to the sugar. So as you’re enjoying your favorite hobby, you’re fighting off gangs of pissed off, rabid bees that want nothing more then to drive their tiny little death tails right into your flesh. No thanks. It’s pretty awesome when you go outside and you are immediately sticky and your breath gets taken away due to the heat. Have a smoke.
Forget the healthy lungs and live longer and what nots. I’ll take the comfort of a nice air conditioner and a warm heater any day. Sure, that other stuff is a real nice bonus. Not the icing on the cake but I won’t complain. That being said, I officially consider myself an ex smoker. Ask any smoker and they’ll tell you 5 hours is an eternity, let alone 5 months.
Now that I sit down and think about this “accomplishment” I have to admit, I’m kind of proud of it. But if I’m being honest, I want a smoke almost every day. Any ex smoker gets that. So while you may complain that it’s too hot or too cold, I welcome it because it gets me thru that day without a smoke