As I lay in my hotel bed well over 200 miles north from my bride, I scroll through the Facebook. I run across an article that was shared several times. It listed several reasons why this particular gentleman thought that marriage was dead. He mentioned social media, technology, texting, hard work, and finances as all things that “kill” marriages. As a married man of damn near 15 years, I took offense to this article.
Let me address some of the above mentioned “marriage killers”. Thanks to technology, I can actually see my bride every night while I’m gone. FaceTime and Skype have been AMAZING since I’m gone. Long days and longer nights all seem worth it when I can come back to my room and see the love of my life flashing that look at me. Not to mention I get to see my kids. For the sake of this “article” I’ll leave my 4 blessings out of it. I look forward to coming back to my room and seeing my best friend every night. Granted, I can’t hold her and physically touch her, but I can take solice in actually seeing her. When used for its intent, Skype and FaceTime are fantastic!
Texting is a beautiful thing! I wake up at 6:30 and reach for my phone as it doubles as my alarm clock. I wipe the sleep from my eyes and groggy turns into clarity in a matter of seconds. What’s the 1st thing I see? “Good morning babe! Hope you have a great day! I love you!!” How can my day start any better than that!?!?! By taking 30 seconds out of her hectic day to tell me she loves me, she’s starting my day with a smile. She’s also giving me motivation to do my absolute best as I face my day. Occasionally throughout the day I may have a minute or two to glance at my phone and I often see “I love you!” She knows I’m busy and can’t talk but by shooting me a quick text, she’s letting me know she misses me just as much as I miss her. This is all done without interrupting either of our days and yet again, she’s put a smile on my face.
Social media, if used properly can add to your marriage. I post pictures of my bride from time to time with captions such as “I love my bride” or “Thanks momma for all you do” Basically I’m announcing to the world and any potentional suitorettes, that not only am I happily married, but I’m head over heals in love with the person that stood in front of me when I said “I do”. Now I understand that I’m a 34 year old man who’s out of shape with an above average belly, a goofy beard, old glasses, and I probably scratch myself to much. It’s not like I have ladies knocking down my door but in the event that there was more than one crazy lady out there that thought she had a chance at all that, she would no I’m not interested by simply looking at my Facebook page.
Finances have been an issue in marriages from the dawn of time I believe. In the 14+ years I’ve been blessed to call my best friend my bride, we’ve been through it all financially. We’ve been in the whole in our checking account. We’ve robbed Peter to pay Paul. (We eventually paid Peter back and no hard feelings or charges linger). We did everything backwards. We got married, had kids, and eventually bought our home. We’ve been blessed enough to take family vacations to exotic places like Indianapolis and even Minneapolis! Point is, no matter how much money we do, or don’t have, that doesn’t change our love for each other. In fact, when there was next to no money, we were closer than ever. We couldn’t do anything but stay at home and enjoy each others company. Today we have a few more bucks and yet we still enjoy each others company. What good is having a huge bank account if you have no one to enjoy it with?
The most appalling thing about that article was the mention of marriage being hard work. Hell yes it’s hard work! It’s the hardest damn thing I’ve ever done! It’s also the most rewarding. Anything worth doing isn’t easy. If it was easy, then everyone would do it and stay married forever. My bride “makes” me do things from time to time I’d rather not do. For example she likes to give me a “honey do” list. I’m not thrilled about it but I do it because I know two things will come out of it for certain. One, I will alleviate some of her stress. Two, it will make her happy. Isn’t that what marriage is all about; making the other person happy? Sometimes we do things not because we want to, but because it makes the other person happy.
Fact is there are few things in life I’d rather be called than “husband”. I’m not naive enough, nor conceded enough to think I’m the perfect husband. Lord knows I’ve made my fair share of mistakes. I also know that I’ll make more. After 4 kids, countless ups and downs, I’m damn proud to be my brides husband! Very few things can compare to the unconditional love of a woman. When executed to the absolute best of your abilities, not a lot can compare to being in a marriage.
Is marriage dead in this day and age? Far from it! Like anything else, the more you put into it, the more you get back. For me, I hope to be married to my best friend for a lifetime. I hope to get wrinkles together. I hope she drives me to the hospital for a hip replacement. I hope to put plastic over our couch and watch Murder She Wrote and Golden Girls together. I hope to draw social security togehter. I hope to color her beautiful blonde hair when it eventually turns grey. I hope to sit on the couch with comfortable silence. I hope to set an example for our children that true love does exist. I hope my bride will let me love her for eternity. Finally, I hope she wants all those things as well because if she doesn’t, we won’t do any of them. After all, she is the boss!